Thursday, 8 February 2007

Ban this filth!

Let's be honest - who doesn't enjoy the thought of another character in wow bring you off with their mouth?

Oh wait... almost no one on earth - my mistake.

If however you have hankered after having semi naked toon looking like they're sucking your "special area" may I recommend to you joining the 'Terra Australus' Guild?

A genius thread has cropped up on the WOW boards today as 'Terra' posted a recruitment request looking for new guild members. Billing themselves as a 'special interest' group (that interest being homo-erotic sadism I think) they provided pictures of their '5am ceremony'

Look - it's a wand... it look s a bit like a cock... tee hee.

It might all be a legendary piss take... although I think my money is probably on legendary perversion.

Still if you want to unleash your inner deviant feel free to join up. Just don't blame me if the +15 stamina you have on your 'weapon' isn't the one they were reffering to.

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Apparently it'll end up with the Clothies having to tank

OK so a purusal of the increasingly doom-laden wow forums over the past few days has left me in a conundrum. Who the hell DO you get to tank for you these days?

Now traditionally the thought would be:

"I'll get me a warrior"
But that thought apparently would be wrong. Warriors are - according to seemingly everyone - shit now and those lucky few who haven't just torn off their ears in rage are so terrified that they'll never get a raid spot ever again becuase of druids/BM spec hunters/Pallys/Tiny mice using coctail sticks as swords that they can no longer play without crying.

"Twatarse! OK so a Druid then! Get me some Druid based goodness"
A brilliant idea - infact a much better idea than warriors at all becuase they got the uber-buff but... they've had their uber-buff for a couple of months now so they're getting paranoid over the dreaded "N" word. They know that every other sodding post on any web board on the entire wow-based interweb is about them being too overpowered (the other half being split 70% warriors are dump 30% Give us hunters back our DPS pls) and they've got to defend themselves in forums all over the world. They have to sacrifice their healing abilities you know....

"So that's them out of the equation then... Balls! OK then how about a hunter? There's lots of them, let's just get a BM spec and sent his beloved furry friend into battle"
Ahhh... BUT Hunters no longer have the l33t DPS and are so busy petitioning to get buffed up again than they're spending all their available game time arguing amongst themselves every 2-4 minutes over what best way to move up the damage dealing rankings that they'll be none online.

"Fine... Pally it is then"
Ahh but no-one thinks that they know how to tank. Esepcially warriors. Although they've got their own crosses to bare right now...

"Right, that pretty much leaves us with a seriosuly hard core rogue then?"
Well yes. But let's not forget that 'Locks have out-DPS'd them by a mile and are now more powerful and generate less threat and are prettier and smell better and are all powerful super beings. Therefore all rogues have apparently given up and cancelled their accounts over their diminishing group role.

So discounting Shammy's as there's still too few of them (on alliance) at 60 that leaves you with our clothy friends.

And seeing as everyone hates how "over powered" 'locks and Mages are it's not a good start...

Blood elf in REAL LIFE!

There's been a lot of talk recently that female Belfs are now the reserve of overly horny 14 year old boys. And as such are rapidly becoming about as desirable as smallpox in your group.

In the interests of balance, I thought i'd investigate. And scant view on YouTube of the words 'blood elf' and 'sexy' gets something like 65,000 hits. Yes they're all in their underwear and yes they're always dacing and accompanied by either 'Sexyback', 'I'm Too Sexy'' or some shit by Pantera.

The discovery of this has led me to conclude the following:

1) No Belf will ever group with me unless they can prove that they actually are a woman.
2) If (1) is impossible but they're at least old enough to legally buy a drink, they agree before we begin that both their hands will remain on the keyboard at all times and never wander 'downstairs' while we're on a mana break.

Anyway... Back to the point of this post: What caught my attention in this sea of teenage hormones (and the terrifying mental image of someones first foray into adult hood will be spent getting a 'pointy' when they remove their Leggings of the bear') was the vid marked "Blood Elf in REAL LIFE!"

Shit me - what madness could this be? Some kind of amazing CGI footage? Maybe some die-hard fans have made a live action movie? Maybe they REALLY EXIST?

Then I watched it.

'Real life' may be a overselling it a touch.

Makes you wonder why they bothered with all that faffing about gollum in Lord of the Rings really - just get this dude in.

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

The Greatest Bargain of ALL TIME

Ok so i'm not wanting to pick on the stupidity of people (although of course I am) but even my breath was taken away at about mindnight last night.

Ironforges trade tab became ablaze with possibly the hottest item ever sold. I will spare their name to avoid the shame but they're a lvl 8 pally (which - no offense pally's - probably also means he's 8)

"WTS sword [FEEBLE SWORD] 1g"

Yep check that bad boy out. 1 whole gold. 100 silver if you prefer, or 1000 of your hard earned copper pennies.

It's a deal, it's a steal, it's sale of the fucking century.

No wait let me think - it's not.

Now you might have assumed that someone was taking the piss here. But you'd be wrong. A quick whisper revealed that 'it exlnt swrd'.

Unlike his spelling.

Upon me pointing out 'no it's not' he told me that i was a 'noob' and that 'it bargn'.

When I asked him if he'd ever been to the auction house he said no - 'U get bttr valu at shop'.

The tradegy is - you'll probably find yourself accidently lumped in with him in DM as you try for that Defias leather and hopeing he dies. Probably in the real world.